The Phoenix Arises Once Again

I do believe its about time I wrote in my infamous journal.

It's been quite a crazy time these past few months. I have had some wonderful and hardship experiences that have culminated into an interesting journey. Through turmoil and perserverence I've come to realize that love is worth the fight.

My love James moved to be here with Me in late April. He's been a great inspiration in My life. I haven't had a Rock in it since I don't remember when. He's pulled Me out of many mindful and physical ruts, I owe him My heart. smiles

Also, I've had a twisted dream come true. My now best friend Angel is back permanently in My life. He will never know the extent of happiness he's caused in just being here even tho he thinks he's a deteriment. I wish I could drill that into his head but that will take time and experience for him to realize it.

I've been motivated once again to actually strive for My goals. Who knew that two beautiful creatures could bring such life back into Me.

For all of you who are connected to Me, you also know this and I'm glad you've accepted them so quickly.

Look Not Always to the Sky, But into the Eyes of Your Soulmate

STAR (by Hell Yeah)

The way you move. The way you move me.
Makes me feel alive
The way you look. The way you look at me.
Sends chills up my spine

I found my star. Lost the moon.
That star is you.

Love the way you love me. You love me
Love the way you do me. Just like you do
The way you touch. The way you touch me.
Makes me feel alive.
The way you melt me. The way we melt together.
Melt into my eyes

I found my star. Lost the moon.
That star is you. Shining Through
I love the way you love me. You love me
Love the way you do me. Just like you do

My angel. My anchor. My star...

I found my star. Lost the Moon.
That star is you. Shining through
I Found My star. You love me.
That star is you. Shining through
I found My star. That star is you
I found My star. Shining through
You're My Star...

Love Is On The Way by Saigon Kick

The First time I heard this song, I was a mere teen. Sitting on the passenger seat feeling the air whip thru my hair as I stared out at the fast rolling fields on my way to Minot. I remember thinking, one day The Man in my life will sing this to me. I believe I have finally found that man in James. Thank you everyone for emotionally supporting me through everything. You all will never know how much it means to me. I love you all and I especially love you my James.

OTEP - T.R.I.C

She is one of My creative muses. Find out why. ::evil grin::

Fire And Sky: Creativity Bursts

Slamming into the wasteland of all that was ....ripping thru the tarnished waves of hysteria as i rise above...wings tattered but causing me to fly faster..downward..swooping into everyone's realities....slaying the demons that edge on their auras....mashing them down back into the ground...telling them NO more!

Fuck your black souls and your instant gratifying ways..you are nothing without us....seep down into the earth and reclaim your emptiness. ...
I will not let you ...I will never volunteer...you are nothing but a speck in My reality easily erased. I am here for a purpose...always here and you will never know the amount of power I have to keep you away. Suck off the slime that you leave on the earth....take away all that you have because it will never be as strong as Me.

Scoop your cracked and crooked nails...you are just a manifestation...a low spirit wanting to be....look up into the light..you know that light..the one that burns will not burn anymore if you reclaim your soul. Feel it and follow...pathway to enlightenment...and soon...you will not be considered in the minions of the supposed damned....go forth and become a high spirit...do so and no one will ever spit at you...burn and mar you...keep you in a locked comfortable cell called Hell.
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Time to fly up to the heavens and feel the ethereal nature that lies within me..without leaving the ground...finding what I am made of is what my purpose is...if only others could sense that exotic taste of creativity. that pulsating pounding profusion that rips thru every sense and makes pushes heaves you into a state of utter delirium. If only one person could fall deep into it because of me.....i would be so utterly happy.

Sounds reverberate in my head...voices and songs, words and pictures..images floating and swirl ....if you could see this would you think of me as crazy now? If you knew this..could you ridicule and rip me down like an empty paper bag?
No...you would fly with me too...you would soar and grace the clouds with your imagination.

Follow me and feel one with that ....know that once you are there you can't go back. Scream it to everyone....who cares what they think...who cares why they say what they do in order to make themselves feel better...its up to you to be who you are.

End that war...and find peace in tranquil surreal thought just once.

______________________________________

Chanting into a New Birth of Thought

Perceive the everlasting conquest of life
Can you sense it?
Smell it?
Do you crave it?
Screaming body aching searching for the absolute realization of your birth
It's a hidden knowledge deep inside your core that only you know
It's a slow sinking solution to every situation you've ever been in
It's a way to understand what you never were taught
It's all that you are

Slip slide into the darkness and find the light that once glowed
Re-ignite power
Ingest
Passion flows in your veins
All you want is what is there
tap
tap
tap
into the mainstream artery of your creativity
pulse
pulse
pulsing its way into your brain stem heart chakra blistering your eyes with images
slither sleep into the warming knowing abyss that is your soul
and awaken to a new dawn
you're alive
Feel even if it Fucking Hurts to the very depths of your inner core
and you'll want it more ...and more

Coldplay - Yellow

To My James

Embrace The Wickedry Within

Yes, its been a long time since last I wrote on My blog. Forgive the long pause in writing.........and now:

My journey has become a more clear path than previous for over a year. I have discovered that I miss writing and not just role playing or talking. I miss training, I miss getting inside a beautiful mind. When I realized this, I met a rather intriguing few but there is one in particular that has piqued My interest.

His name is James. smiles wickedly

If you wish to know more, just ask Me. I would love to indulge you..oh and he's on the Alpha sub training program. I'm wondering how long it will take for him to make it thru. *crooked grin*

Yes, I am back and I will write more. nods

Love to A/all,

Natosha